THAT DAY

Four months today. I think I should put down some memories of that day. I'm not sure why...maybe for posterity. Or just for me.

I'll back up a few days. I talked to

Samantha on Friday, March 26. She had been to see a new doctor about her shortness of breath. The doctor told her the report from Patient First said her lungs were clear of the pneumonia. He gave her an inhaler and a prescription and told her to come see him in a week. She said, "Will I be better in a week?" He said, "You'd better be." I asked her to please take it easy for that week.

Talked to her a few times Saturday. That night was the Young Womens Mtg. and, of course, she was going. Besides the chance to be with Alex, she was playing for a Young Woman to sing. I asked her to send her family to church on Sunday and stay home, which I knew she wouldn't do. As we were driving home from Matthew's Sunday afternoon she called. Said she had been to Sac. Mtg. and then came home. I knew she didn't feel good if she came home without going to Primary.

I think I talked to her when we got home that evening.

Monday morning we headed to Mt. Pleasant to finish up some work for a dentist there. I called Samantha first thing to see how she was. That spark in her voice was not there. I said, "Is this how you sound after a day of resting?" She said she was going to rest as much as she could all week because Alex and his family were coming the end of the week and she wanted to feel good enough to "play" with them. I told Dad she didn't sound good. Around noon I called her from Nephi. She was anxious to get Tyler's email, but still sounded weak. Dad talked to her a couple of times that day and agreed. The last time I talked to her was a little after 5pm. She wanted to know when we would be home to read Tyler's email. I told her we were at the library, Dad was picking up a book. Then we were going home and I would read it then.

I think it was 6:21pm. I was sitting at my computer, had just finished reading Tyler's email, and my phone rang with Samantha's name. I said, "Yes" and Ken said "this isn't who you think." He explained that he had called 911 and they were taking Samantha to the hospital in an ambulance.

We sent out an email to all the kids and had a prayer. I called Rach to make sure she got the email and she said she had just been texting with her about an hour earlier (When I asked Rach later what they were texting about she said, "math.")

Ken called from the hospital with concerns and said he couldn't see her. Then he called to say they wanted to know if Samantha had a history of heart trouble. We said no. The last call came around 8:15pm, I think. Ken said she had had a massive heart attack and was gone. I remember hearing Bernice Murray screaming when she got the word about Steven. I wanted to do that. But I think I just cried and moaned. And Dad did the same.

We called the kids. I called Matthew, Rach and Alex. Dad called Luke, Hebe and Jed. Luke, Hebe and Carley came right home and stayed. Jed flew in the next day. I called Aunt Carol and Aunt Janeen and Dianne Smith who is serving a Mission. Dad said, "Shall I call the Bishop?" I said, "The bishop doesn't even know Samantha." He said, "He knows us." A few minutes later the house was filled with friends and neighbors. That continued until we left for VA and then again when we got home.

I have included these two pictures because I think they are windows into Samantha. For her, reading started at a very early age. She has always loved to read and to share what she read with others. And anyone who has ever seen Samantha sitting with her cross stitch, or quilts, or whatever knows she always sits with one leg up. Things haven't changed much, except she isn't here anymore.

For Now...

I can't say goodbye. It doesn't seem possible. But I know I won't be seeing her for a while. I won't be getting a phone call from her first thing in the morning saying "are you up?" Nor will I get calls from her while we are out, saying, "when will you be home to read Tyler's email?"

There are a lot of things we won't be doing for a while. And new things we will be doing. We'll be missing her. And we'll remember to check on her family more often. And hopefully, we'll follow her example of continued service.

I can't say more. Just...I love her.

All That I Am....

A couple of weeks ago we went to the Wrights Sacrament Mtg. to hear them report on their mission to Sweden. One of the speakers quoted Abraham Lincoln, "all that I am, or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother." I looked at Matthew and thought, not true.

Since that day, I have thought about Lincoln's statement a lot. I can't say that it's true for any of our family. What is true, is that what I am, whatever that is, I owe to you and Dad. Dad and I have often said that we think the Lord entrusted us with you, hoping we wouldn't get in your way. I'm sure there have been times that I have gotten in your way, but you overcame those times.

On the other hand, I have learned and continue to learn from all of you and your families.

So this is my Valentine gift to all of you. A sincere THANK YOU for the kind of people you have become and for teaching me and helping me along the way.

Love to all of you!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010

I made myself hold off on this post until I had all of the Christmas decor down. I have it down. Maybe today we will get it put in the basement. Dad has it all in the boxes...so we're making progress.

As the New Year began, I asked Dad what we were thinking about the year to come this time last year. Neither of us could remember much. We knew we looked forward to more growth in the business. That has happened. We've been blessed that way. (Jed has encouraged us to set a goal of tripling our revenue this year. That's very ambitious, but doable, we think.) We knew we were going to experience a change in political administration. And that has happened.

But here is a list of other events that have taken place this year.

• The new shower in our bathroom: fabulous and a gift from all.
• Samantha flew out to go skiing. Matthew, Josh, Dad, Luke, Hebe and Carley and Tyler went.
• Hebe and Carley's wedding: a great event that brought family together and many friends.
• Josie was born to Alex and Sarah: thirteenth grandchild and a beauty.
• Hebe and Carley bought their new town home: it's wonderful and beautiful.
• Rach, Jeff, Chase, Maggie and Noah came to visit: we had a wonderful time with them. Went to the Open House of the Oquirrh Mtn. Temple with all of them.
• Emma's baptism: happened on the weekend of July 4th. Alternator went out in our car. A great time was had by all. Matthew gave Emma an incredible blessing.
• Luke and Dad went to Alex's for Josie's blessing. Had a great time. Samantha's family, too.
• Luke moved into his own apt: it's a great place for him and provides a room for his office.
• Justin started school: I wonder what they will teach him.
• Tyler entered the MTC: Dad and I took him. Brought back too many memories of trips there with our own boys. Grateful to have the first missionary of the next generation.
• The trip to NYC: the most priceless gift from all our kids and the most wonderful time.
• Jed and Heather moved to San Francisco: it's good to have them closer.

I know there were other things. Add them if you like.

Soccer Mom

I have become a Soccer Mom. Actually, we have become Soccer Parents. Luke plays indoor soccer on Wednesday nights and on Saturdays, and he is the goalie. The Wed. games are close, so we usually attend those. Some of his games are at 11:30pm. He says we are not allowed to stay up that late, but sometimes we go anyway. We know nothing about the rules, but we are learning. His teams are co-ed. We know that when a girl scores it's two points. (That's the first thing we learned.) It is fun to watch and it gives us a minute or two with Luke.

Matthew is the only one of the boys who played soccer as a kid. It hadn't taken over the country, then, the way it has now. When Matthew played, Dave Simons was his coach. At the end of the season Matthew got the mumps, so he missed the final game.

Luke and Hebe played some soccer when they were at the Y and we watched a game or two, then. But Luke's teammates call us the Number 1 fans, now. We have a good time watching and he usually has a good time playing....especially when they win, which is most of the time.

This summer Luke coached a team of kids. He enjoyed that, but I don't think they won any games. Doesn't matter much when you're six.

Extravagrant

We made a purchase Saturday. We replaced something that we have had in this house, I think since we built it. I hated to spend the money, but Dad was certain it was justified.

I hope the next time you visit, you won't miss the old one.

HALLOWEEN

We had decided we could do without Halloween this year. Just turn off the lights and go to the bedroom and watch the World Series. Sounds simple enough. But when it came right down to it, we couldn't ignore all of the neighborhood kids. So we got a small bag of candy and decided we would turn off the lights when it was gone.

You may remember that Dad traditionally does fancy pumpkins with carving kits and stencils. Well, since we were close to breaking tradition, he didn't do the pumpkins. We didn't even buy pumpkins, can you believe it? Instead, Dad put his creative abilities to work and created a mummy. The ground rules were that he couldn't spend any money on it. (Are you proud, Jed?) I think he came through pretty well.